Characters : Kira, Matsumoto
Words : 526
A/N : Kira, Matsumoto and the sense of betrayal and loss
Kira has trouble getting out of bed in the morning.
Every time he opens his eyes, he feels the stab of betrayal pierce his chest and leave him quietly bleeding in his bed, slowly draining him of all energy to move even if he’s only just woken up. On some days it wasn’t so bad, and he’d be able to force his legs to get to the shower and go about his business with at least a straight face. On other days, he’s clutching his sides and vomiting in the toilet, appearing to work like a man sentenced to death.
He hates it, hates it, hates this feeling of lethargy always wrapped around him, but he can’t he can’t he can’t he just CAN’T push it away because that would require energy and Kira has trouble enough just swallowing food as it is.
So he goes about his work and tries his best not to stumble in the hallways and greet his elders at least without a frown on his face like protocol dictates he should, because he’ll really stab himself this time if somebody looks at him again with a sad look on their face or tries to pat him on the back and tell him everything’s going to be fine.
Because everything isn’t going to be fine, will probably never be fine anymore, and just thinking this thought drains him of all energy like he’s woken up from bed the second time that day.
Then one day, while delivering some papers to 10th division headquarters, he hears Matsumoto’s laugh echoing through the building. It’s jolly and it’s loud and it’s obnoxious, but Kira thinks it sounds just quite like sobbing in some aspects. He remembers that Matsumoto was his taichou’s childhood friend, and he can’t resist the need to see her, if only to know there was someone else suffering under the same sense of loss and betrayal as he was.
Quietly he walks towards her laughter, more and more hearing the undercurrents of hysterical sobbing mixed in with the chortles and giggles, and when he rounds the corner and sees her frame, he knows that he isn’t alone.
Because while Matsumoto is technically laughing, Kira can see the tell-tale bruises on her body from the lack of sleep she’s been getting, can see the frailness of her arms at the sudden loss of weight, and can now most definitely hear the sobbing in her laughter even though she tries so hard to cover it up.
As if she feels his eyes on her, she isuddenly turns her head and stares at him, and when her voice dies down she looks at him and smiles, and he knows she knows he knows, and he can’t help but give a smile of his own when she bids him good morning and asks if he’d like to join her for morning coffee.
He says that yes, that would be nice, and he doesn’t return to his division until almost lunch time.
These days, Kira still has trouble getting out of bed in the morning, but at least now, he has morning coffee to look forward to.