kaizhen (kaizhen) wrote,

dreams and friends

i woke up from a dream this morning with something like dread in the pit of my stomach.

i dreamt that i had a sword, and that i had killed people with that sword. one day i had to come face to face with this guy, and kill him like the rest of the guys i've met. the problem was that he was better than me, and even as i tried my hardest to slice him up to pieces, i always felt like i was the one losing and dying. somehow that certain encounter ended, and we were ordered to kill each other at another time. i remember crying before our second fight, because i knew that i was going to die and that i couldn't stop it, and i was chopped liver as far as i was concerned, and it felt horrible as hell.

thank god i woke up after that, but the feeling is still there, in my stomach, squeezing my insides.

i think a friend is going to backstab me.
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