characaters : yuki/kyou
words : 531
A/N : furuba manga pwnz my soul and writer's block is eating me alive.
He clenches his fists tightly, painfully, and feels his fingers dig deep into his palms like the claws of the animal that possessed him. He feels his body shudder in frustration and anger, his unspeakable anger, and the realization that once again he is found lacking in some unknowable aspect in his life hits him with the force of a speeding truck.
By all lines of reasoning Yuki should have been defeated by now. Kyou fights with his heart on the line, and Kyou trains with every fiber of his being and Kyou sweats blood and tears every single day of his life and yet there Yuki stands, perfect and unmarred and undefeated before him, mocking his very existence like it was nothing, NOTHING, in comparison to his.
The words always stung, no matter how many times he’s already heard it, and for a moment his vision blurs and he feels like vomiting on the splendidly immaculate uniform of his cousin.
He has no right, he has absolutely no right to shove the humiliation at him because Kyou is already smothered in it, buried chest high in it, and he does not need it to be pushed in his face any more cause he is going to choke on it and die painfully like an idiot.
“Why…” The word is laced with his gasp of pain, almost unintelligible from the labored breath he releases. No person in the world deserves this, no person should have to bear this suffering as long as he has, and yet here he is, bloody and battered and enduring, always enduring, the embarrassment of always being the unwanted one.
Kyou, the cat.
Kyou, the cursed among the cursed.
Kyou, the one whom no one wants.
“WHY!?!” He’s screaming now, his voice rising. He does not want to contain it anymore, the festering feeling eating him alive, and for once he doesn’t care that he’s going to sink lower than he already has in front of Yuki. Let him see what he’s won, let him know that he’s the victor against nothing, because Kyou’s spirit has been demolished into almost nothing.
The syllables melt into one another and they start to lose any sort of meaning for Kyo. He can’t control his voice, can’t control the empty feeling that is making itself known to the world. He’s been trying to hide them for so long, so long, but they don’t want to stay buried any longer, forcing their way out of his mouth in one angry procession of frustration and despair.
He barely registers the fingers curling around his throat until they are squeezing the life out of him, cutting off his air supply in one sudden contraction. His vision blurs as the nails bury into a pressure point, and the last thing he sees is Yuki’s face and Yuki’s eyes as he forces him to shut up, just shut up you stupid cat, and he fades from reality as if it were a dream he’s woken up in.
When Kyo wakes up he is alone in his bed, but his throat is still sore from where Yuki strangled him a few hours before.